A good settlement is where each side gives up 60%.
The parties in a divorce case should always strive for some form of settlement. It is a rare occasion when a client wins everything s/he wants and is overjoyed that s/he took their case to trial. Especially when kids are involved.
The Courts in central Iowa requires that the parties submit to mediation. And for good reason: Children almost always come out better from a settlement and you avoid seeing one side, or sometimes both sides, devastated by a ruling from a Judge who more than likely doesn't know you. Mediation allows the parties to maintain control over their case and makes the outcome more acceptable and liveable for the parties. Even if the court your case is pending in does not have mandatory mediation the Court will often entertain and grant an application for an Order to Mediate.
If you don't or won't come to an agreement, the judge will for you. And chances are, neither side is going to be happy with the order of the court. Work with your lawyer and your soon-to-be ex-spouse and make every possible effort to settle your case.