Child Born to Lesbian Couple Will Have 2 Mothers Listed

A lesbian couple in South Jersey won court approval this week to have both of their names listed as parents on the birth certificate of their newborn, and the attorney general’s office said it will no longer oppose such applications. The decision, in Family Court in Burlington County, stems from an Oct. 25 ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court holding that same-sex couples are entitled to the same legal rights and protections as heterosexual couples. The court gave the Legislature 180 days either to bring gay couples within the state’s marriage laws or establish a parallel system of civil unions. The couple now do not have to go through the adoption process to establish full parental rights for both. By Laura Mansnerus, N.Y. Times Link to Article)

Study: Divorce Hurts Rural Women

The Des Moines Register and MSN.com published an article this week about Iowa State University researcher's conclusions regarding the effects divorce has on rural women. The study, spanning 10 years, focused on what happens to rural women's health after the end of a marriage compared with women who stayed married. The study concluded that while the act of getting divorced produced no immediate physical effects on health it did effect on mental health. However, ten years later, those effects on mental health led to effects in physical health.

The study added that divorced women, especially in rural areas, have poor job opportunities and fewer support systems therefore contributing to women's declining health. Often, the only job opportunities offered to divorced women have poor health care plans or quality health care is inaccessible due to their geographical location. To read the full article check out the following: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15498876/

Helping Children Through a Divorce

Now that the holidays are looming in the horizon, and the probability of having family gatherings is more likely, relatives should be particularly aware of their behavior around children of divorcing parents.

Here is my list of the top 10 ways to help grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins and other kids experiencing divorcing parents through the holidays:

1. Don't disparage your soon-to-be ex-relative in front of the children.

2. Help create positive memories during holiday events and keep up on traditions.

3. Be a good listener.

4. Set up your expectations for their behavior before they arrive.

5. Become the unbiased, non-judgment confidant.

6. Don't sabotage agreements set up by either parent.

7. Let your relative little ones know that what they are feeling is okay.

8. Focus on the positive.

9. Share your spiritual beliefs in a non-judgmental way.

10. Read together and/or find quiet special time with them.

What other rules do you observe? Email me at jjaskolka@sullivan-ward.com