You and your spouse have separated or the divorce has been finalized. Just because there are now two households doesn't mean that your child should experience two separate and inconsistent lives. You and your ex-spouse (or soon-to-be) may be polar opposites but that doesn't mean that your child cannot experience consistency.
Children do better when there is predictability to their routine. In a best-case scenario, there is inter-home consistency and coordination regarding schedules, expectations, and rules. If uniformity is not a realistic possibility, make sure at a minimum that each separate home is consistent within itself.
Areas to create routine, ritual and consistency include:
1. Bedtime
2. Mealtime
3. Medication time
4. Bathtime
5. TV and internet rules
6. Homework rules
7. Methods of discipline
Many times parents express a hesitancy to enforce rules because they feel guilty about the effects of the divorce on their child. However, consistency helps a child understand that things will remain the same despite the parents no longer being in one household. However, always be on the lookout for the signs and symptoms that signal a child needs help dealing with the divorce and seek help if needed.
This blog is provided for general purposes only. You are cautioned not to attempt to solve your individual legal problems upon the basis of the information contained herein because slight changes in factual situations and laws may require a material variance in the applicable advice.
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Jennifer Jaskolka-Brown, an Iowa attorney located at 6601 Westown Parkway, Suite 200, West Des Moines, Iowa, (515) 247-4705, practices in general civil litigation with an emphasis in Iowa Family Law issues. She provides guidance in family law matters from divorce, paternity, disestablishment of paternity to adoption,and guardianships. She also provides representation in a wide-variety of civil litigation issues.
