Double Proxy Marriage

Ever wanted to get married but didn't want to attend the marriage ceremony? Think about moving to Montana where a double proxy wedding is permissible. The New York Times recently posted an article stating that Montana is the only state that allows a double-proxy wedding - that is - allowing a stranger (or acquaintance) stand up for both the bride and groom and enter into a civil marriage contract. Thus, the presence of neither the bride or groom is required.

This is common when both parties are in the military and stationed in different parts of the country. And it takes about all but a minute. The cost to the real bride and groom: $900, $50 apiece to the proxies, $100 to the judge, $150 to the lawyer (and witness); $53 for court fees; $14 for two certified copies of the marriage certificate; and the rest to a Pennsylvania couple who run a business facilitating proxy marriages.

Last year, the Montana State Legislature amended the law to require that one party in a double-proxy marriage be either a Montana resident or a member of the armed forces on active duty; however, the article noted that these Montana marriages are recognized in every state but Iowa.

Now if there could only be divorce by proxy. . . .

Money and Divorce

The Money Team at the Des Moines Register recently posted an answer to the following question:

Q: “I am about to get divorced after 25 years of being a wife and stay-at-home mom with no involvement in finances. I’ll get the house and a decent retirement fund, but I don’t even know where to start. Any advice?”

This is an extremely common question when individuals, after a long-term marriage, divorce. The Money Team gives sound advice: Look at a few basic financial areas: cash flow, short-term savings, retirement planning and asset protection. Understanding what money is coming in and going out can make a bigger difference in your lifestyle than what you received in the divorce.

I suggest that anyone going through a divorce take a look at this article. Scheduling an appointment with a financial planner as well as an attorney versed in Wills, Trusts and other testamentary instruments is also advisable especially if you had little involvement in family finances during the marriage. You may need some guidance to get through the rough beginning but a clear understanding of finances can make the long road easier.

Hiding Assets

Honesty may be the best policy for a successful marriage. But when it comes to divorce, couples are becoming increasingly devious in concealing their wealth from each other reports the Pennsylvania Family Law Blog.

One fifth of couples who divorced last year tried to conceal their assets or income from their spouse - a figure which has doubled since 2006 - a report has found. The study - by the accounting firm Grant Thornton, which surveyed 100 family lawyers - found that husbands were much more dishonest when a marriage crumbled.

In cases where assets had been hidden, 88 per cent involved men concealing wealth from their wives. Just two per cent involved women hiding assets. In the remainder of cases, both partners tried to conceal wealth from one another.

Family law experts say a spate of expensive, high-profile divorce cases, such as that of Sir Paul McCartney and his wife, Heather Mills McCartney, is spurring couples to hide their wealth from each other.

Andrea McLaren, the head of Grant Thornton’s matrimonial practice, said: ‘The number of couples hiding assets from one another has increased by 100 per cent since last year, which is staggering. Supposedly, men are seeing terrifying huge divorce settlements which are compelling them to hide assets.

In Iowa, you must, unless waived by court order, disclose all assets on an affidavit of financial status. While the affidavit is signed under oath, it does not guaranty full disclosure. Make sure you keep track of all marital and nonmarital assets during a marriage: this does not mean you are necessarily eyeing a divorce, but it is helpful when your spouse gets sick or passes away and is unable to carrying on his/her financial affairs.

Things Not to Do During Divorce

The Oregon Divorce Blog recently published a good post about what NOT to do during divorce. It points out that many pitfalls and traps await parties who are unfamiliar with the process noting that people often make bad decisions under stress, or without the guidance of an experienced lawyer and fail to educate themselves.

I agree, that by avoiding the following 10 pitfalls, you may get a better result. During your divorce, you should NOT:

1. Lie to your lawyer.

2. Lie to the court.

3. Involve the kids in the process.

4. Hide or fail to produce documents.

5. Refuse to cooperate with a court appointed expert.

6. Settle without analyzing your case.

7. Fail to try to resolve the case outside of court.

8. Take out your stress in unhealthy ways.

9. Be economically irrational in negotiations.

10. Be your own lawyer if your case is contested and your spouse is represented.

To read an explanation as to why you should avoid these pitfalls, click on the above-link.