Judge Rules No Circumcision for 9 Year-Old

A Chicago Judge recently sided with a divorced man who did not want his 9 year-old son to undergo a circumcision procedure. Circuit Judge Jordan Kaplan said that it was an "extraordinary medical procedure" for a 9 year-old and the boy can decide for himself when he reaches age 18.

The father sued to block the operation in a dispute with his ex-wife. The couple's 2003 divorce decree stated that he had to be consulted before the child underwent any "extraordinary" non-emergency procedure which is language typical of legal custody.

This case is an example of the power that a legal custodian can wield even if s/he doesn't have physical custody. Make sure that your divorce or paternity decree clearly spells out each party's legal (and physical) custodial rights. Typically there is case law or statutory language that can be incorporated to ensure that both parties have a clear understanding of what rights they are entitled to and what is expected of them.

Re-dating: The Second Time Around

In the past several years I have seen an increase in couples who are on their second or third marriages--to each other. Are these people doomed for another friction-filled love disaster? Or is it fate, a soul-mate relationship, that reunites them?

Recently, MSN published an article asserting that two types of duos are most like to reconvene successfully: (1) relationships that ended amicably due to such things a youthful inexperience but the parties remain in touch through the years, or (2) the twosome that lost touch long ago but after an impromptu rendezvous they discover the flame is still sparking.

In either case, a replay works best when it is a natural process and not one of desperation, out of loneliness or "for the sake of the children." Evaluate where you are in life before taking a second go-around.

Can I Stop it?

Several Iowa clients have asked me recently "Can I stop the divorce" or "can s/he stop the divorce?" A short and brutal answer is "no," at least in Iowa. You (or your spouse) may of course employ delay tactics like asking for continuances or asking for an order requiring reconciliation like marriage counseling but unless both parties are committed to truly working on the marriage, using these tactics usually only result in more hurt and cost.

So what choices do you have? You both can choose to remain in the marriage which for some, is better than dealing with the pain, expense and disruption of divorce. You can live in a so-called "parallel marriage" which turns into a marriage of companionship and pleasantries. This probably more common than you think and especially prevalent when one spouse needs medical insurance coverage or both know they cannot maintain a reasonable lifestyle without the other's contribution.

Another option is to enter into a separation agreement which is as close to a divorce as one comes without taking the plunge.

To discuss these options and other contact a family law attorney.